A relationship should be based on trust. We often hear how important this concept is to a successful relationship. Usually that trust leads you to feel secure enough to discuss anything, explore anything that will allow you to add ‘spice’ to the relationship, and this often includes sending explicit pictures. However, this practice intended to be an intimate act between lovers has been turned into a public spectacle, intended to extort and embarrass Jamaican females. This gave birth to the website JA Girls Exposed. One of my followers on Twitter has found herself “exposed”, pictures she sent to a guy she was dating posted on a website for all the world to see. By all accounts, she is popular on Twitter, a stunning young lady, comfortable with her body and her sexuality. She wants you to hear her side of the story, to tell you about her personal anguish and sense of betrayal. We will call her VC. Here she is, in her own words.
An “ex” is a very curious thing to have. Personally, I never know what to do with them or how to relate to them. This is puzzling, considering months, or years before, I had shared a life, my body and my “love” with this person. For some of us, that estranged ex was once the centre of our world, some of us may have even forsaken friends and family for that person. Some of us may even have excessively sweet stories to tell. Stories of intrigue and romance. That first smile, first kiss, first time the penis was made to know the vagina (or whatever variation of that meeting you may engage in).
The views expressed in this post are not my own. I do not necessarily endorse statements made or conclusions drawn. However, I believe everyone has the right to have their perspective heard. To this end, I have decided to feature other writers on my blog. This is my first such feature, in what I hope to be a series of features. Enjoy another voice and perspective.
I can never understand women, I swear. Everyday they preach “mi want a good man, mi want a good man” well Amen bitch, but the good man you claim that you want is the same nigga u neglected. Why? Because him too sawf (submissive), you rule him, he’s too perfect, he’s not the relationship type, he does everything you want in a man. Like WTF bitch??? You just said you wanted a perfect man so why you complaining? *tivali ooman voice* the point isssss women are confused and most who think they know what they want, don’t.
They think they know until they are in a relationship with Mr. Asskisser for 2 months when suddenly she runs outta ass space (especially ya’ll skinny bitches with no ass). That’s when she plays heartbreaker and decides she no longer wants to break his dick off in the bedroom, she wants to break his heart (8) you got him suicidal, suicidal when you say its overrr (8) (In that case see @gilly_royal for some rope motherfucker).
Lately I’ve been suffering from a severe case of writer’s block and I find that my inspiration to write is now more often than not informed by Twitter and her trends. This tells me that those of you who think I should take up writing in some professional capacity are wrong. I’m really not that talented; I need to be on a “hottaz” JUTC A/C yellow bus (Yes, I know. I’m a hottaz) or logged in to Twitter for inspiration to flow. Well, generally anyway.
Anyhow, as I read the tweets which my learned followers offered as recipes for killing a relationship, I began wondering if we’re really that shallow or if it is indicative of a “new age” understanding of relationships, where sex and love are intertwined and any separation usually ruins the relationship. That is, can you be in a relationship without sex? And alternately, can you be in a relationship without love? Or do the two complement each other? And if one exists without the other, is the relationship less fulfilling?
The Jamaica Observer recently published a series of articles which sought to bring attention to the plight of homosexual teens. These young men and women expressed that the pressure of living in a homophobic society has caused them to hide their sexuality from those around them. After reading the articles I began reflecting on the “downlow”culture which by all accounts, is becoming quite prevalent. I wish to discuss a few points related to this issue :
(1) Is this culture inspired by society’s rejection of homosexuals?
(2) Are gay men, and women, selfish by misleading their heterosexual partners?
(3) If the stigma attached to being gay is removed, would this solve the “downlow” problem?
So at one point or another we all must have come across a situation of the school girl who dates an older gentleman. Naturally, most of us frown upon any such relationship; arguing it is inappropriate and as my friend would say, “dem (the older men) mus mek di likkle pickni dem blossom good.” Still, I’ve been thinking, are these relationships always “wrong” or “inappropriate”? Could there be some amount of correctness? And still yet, could these young girls and older men have justifications for their actions?
My grandma would always say “before you judge, try to understand.” So what are the possible causes of these relationships? Poverty? Greed? A Need for Hype? Possibly all three? Most of our young girls, especially in the inner city, don’t come from stable financial backgrounds and yet they want to live the “high life”. They need the latest fashion and accessories to live up to the expectation of their peers, and the common saying is “school bwoy lunch money done 12 o’clock!” So it seems only natural that these young girls would gravitate towards a man that can maintain them. Is something wrong with that? If yes, what? What about the parents? There are parents who turn a blind eye to these relationships because it eases the financial burden. Often times these men support the entire household because he’s having sex with the daughter. Why don’t we properly consider that prostitution though? Or a mother pimping her daughter? Surely there is something seriously wrong with that. The young girls have also complained that guys their age are too immature. They claim these young boys “chat too much!, if mi gi him, him affi tell him fren dem!” Is this true fellas? Is your mouth chattering away? Can’t keep the secret that you got the vajayjay?
What about these older men? What motivates them to sleep with 13, 14 and 15 year olds? Is it that they lack the confidence necessary to attract women their age? Small dicks? Impotent? Or is it that the young girls can be easily manipulated and so they have their way with them far easier? Arguably, the young girls are “cheaper” to maintain. After all, $5000 to a 13 year old must seem like a fortune. Why do we condemn these men for sleeping with a 14 or 15 year old and yet the law endorses them sleeping with a 16 year old? I find it morally objectionable! And as far as I’m concerned, if they can sleep with a 16 year old, a 15 year old is fair game. Yup, I said it! What exactly qualifies a 16 year old to make a considered decision as to whether or not they are ready for sex? Aren’t they susceptible to the same immaturity that plagues the 15 year old? I’m willing to bet they are.
There is a certain hypocrisy in our society when we consider the reverse. That is, the older woman, younger guy relationship. The old man who sleeps with a young girl is a pervert, right? And the older woman who sleeps with a younger guy is a what? A cougar. How nice. Bullshit! If there is something wrong with an older man sleeping with a young girl then the reverse has to be the same. Both must be condemned. We can’t hold the men to one standard and the women to another. I submit to you that if you think one is wrong, that must extend to the other. The causes and reasoning is probably the same right? Well, except the older women probably want a young stud…BUT… what if they older men want something tight and moist? (Let’s face it, a dry vagina is absolutely a “dick killer”) I’m just saying. What if?
I’m honestly not sure how I feel about the wrongness or rightness of it all. Afterall, whatever we feel about it all, we surely can understand that sometimes it becomes a necessary evil. Like it or not, that’s the reality. Perhaps you guys can help me decide. The Skoolaz & Big Man : Wrong Or Right?