Gays and Sparta : What Tommy Lee May Not Know

The Gaza is such a wonderful place. From the majestic causeway, rising above the pristine waters of the Caribbean sea, to the sweet song of mosquitoes singing lazily by your ears; who could deny the beauty of the Gaza? That most wondrous place in Portmore, St. Catherine has given Jamaica some of its best dancehall talents. The Gaza is a place where stars are made. Who could forget being taken to the Ramping Shop? Who would dare forget the thrill of wearing a Clarks? Or the absolute pleasure of jumping in the benz punani and taking it for a ride? Such fun times. In more recent times, Tommy Lee has invited us to ancient Greece, to the era of the great Greek warriors, the Spartans.

The self styled Uncle Demon has invited legions to his cause, complete with girls who give fatal fellatio, but how much does Tommy Lee know about the Spartans? And did anyone ever stop to tell him these warriors frequently practiced homosexuality? This is a serious issue, considering the Werl Bawse declared that “nuh batty cyaan f@%k pan di Gaza”. Where exactly does Tommy Lee keep his Spartan warriors, and what does Kartel have to say about it? The term “Spartans” refer to the residents of the ancient Greek city state of Sparta. The Spartans were known for having a unique social system and a well developed constitution, one of the very first known constitutions in the world. Perhaps the most unique aspect of Spartan culture was the military. This is where Tommy Lee comes in.

You see, “uncle demon” appears to fancy himself a citizen of Sparta, and not just a citizen, but a warrior, a member of the army. This is where it gets interesting. You see, the Spartan army practiced homosexuality on a wide scale. Sleeping with your comrades was seen as a morale building exercise and it was believed that this led to a stronger military unit. In addition to this, pederastry was also widespread. Pederasty was a practice in which an older gentleman would take a young boy and train him to be a man. The two males would frequently have sex. This was an integral part of ensuring the youngster was strong and masculine. For those of us who watch Spartacus, you’ll recall the various examples of this practice seen throughout the series. Isn’t it funny how we stigmatise homosexuals and in another culture the practice was seen as the ultimate expression of masculinity? Anyhow, in light of all that, why would Tommy Lee focus so heavily on being a Spartan warrior? No, I’m not suggesting anything. Perish the thought. This is not something unique to Tommy Lee, but something I realise in general. We often follow fads and trends, sometimes without knowing the historical or cultural significance of said trend. Do you remember planking? Countless African Americans and caribbean nationals latched on to the practice, not knowing it was once used to humiliate and punish our ancestors. The same principle seems to apply to “uncle demon”.

So obsessed is Mr. Lee with being a warrior, a bad man and apparently a killer, that he has missed what it takes to be a Spartan warrior. He wants to be a warrior, but I don’t think you can be a Spartan warrior and not be committed to the cause. Is Tommy Lee willing to undergo the team building exercise necessary to belong to the Spartan army? Is he willing to handle all a di badniss that will come backa dat? Are any of you who chant “Sparta!” on my timeline daily willing to? I don’t think so, or are you? 😐 I say all this to say, we need to be aware of what we allow to influence us and what trends we follow. Don’t just follow something because it looks good or sounds good, understand what it’s about and the origins, if any. This is the fundamental problem I have with Gaza fans; there seems to be an unholy indoctrination taking place. Whatever comes out of the Gaza is gospel, and no one stops to scrutinise it. Well, due scrutiny needs to be given to this Spartan idea. I don’t think you can be a Spartan and not be a team player, so maybe the Werl Bawse should reconsider his declaration on anal sex. Uncle Demon is, after all, a Spartan. Isn’t he? 🙂 Maybe being a Spartan means something else to Tommy Lee. Just maybe.

The Gaza stands today as a proud symbol of local government reform in Jamaica. The municipal Mayors have included the overweight to the very old. The Gaza boasts a population two times that of Barbados, and is well on the way to becoming Jamaica’s 15th parish. The Gaza is a prime spot during the winter months, this swamp like region provides high temperatures and thick humidity, small cottage like structures that pass for houses with shared walls that betray lovers who may become too loud in the moment. Who would dare deny the beauty of the Gaza? Certainly not me, certainly not me.

*Information on Spartan culture taken from the National Geographic Channel and The Smithsonian Channel.