Best News & Current Affairs Blog (2011 & 2012) and Jamaican Blogger of the Year (2011) at The Jamaica Blog Awards.

Twidder : Shit Just Got Real!

Have you ever seen the TV show Desperate Housewives? (Real tugz watch Desperate Housewives by the way :|) Anyhow, if you’ve ever seen the show, you’d be familiar with the drama and excitement of the fictional street called Wysteria Lane. The more I thought about the dynamic of Twitter, the more I saw parallels between the show and the popular social networking site Twitter. Twitter is our Wysteria Lane, our own virtual community; complete with all the drama.

I say community because we live there, and believe it or not, some of us find ourselves there. We have the tenement yard, complete with the bhuttus who are far too loud. Yes. I’m talking about all of you who have to “!!!!!”, why all the shouting? It’s just too loud. Calm down. You have neighbours. Then there are the bullies. The ones who make certain members of the community feel unwelcome. Yes. I’m talking about you all that stay on there humiliating people for things they can’t control; like poverty 😐 and certain aspects of their physical appearance. So what you perceive as “ugly”, may just be who they are and it’s not about to change…build a bridge and get the hell over it.

Let’s not forget the “Vandercamps of Twitter”; you know the ones I’m talking about, those who pontificate as though they have a divine right to regulate what, how and who people tweet and interact with. The Vandercamps are almost always the neighbours of the bullies. They vacation together, car pool together, are seen at the same parties, have the same shallow and sheep like behaviour and their kids almost always attend the same schools.

(See what I just did there? No? Ok. Close the tab then. This post isn’t for you.)

…but I digress.

To round off the community, we have the attention seekers, whores, ‘inspirational tweeters’ (yes, the inspirational ones who find the profound quotes via Google and share them periodically throughout the day) and of course the ones who we’re not exactly sure where they belong, but they’ve rented the house two doors down on your timeline and chances are you’ll see them at the neighbourhood watch meeting and so you follow back. Yes. Now that we’ve completed the listing of our residents, let me take issue with the hypocrisy in this community. First of all, if you don’t like someone, UNFOLLOW THEM. Why play the hypocrite? Why follow them and act the part of the good neighbour when you know if you had the chance, you’d commit the ultimate act of arson and report their page as SPAM? Why pretend that someone belongs in your “Twitter social circle” when you stay in reality talking trash about them? What benefits do you gain from playing the hypocrite? It’s 2011, blunt and frank discussions are in. So stop being the hypocrite. Stop it. Sayton! 😐 (I couldn’t resist)

Then there is the, “Don’t judge me by my tweets.” How many times have you seen that in someone’s bio or in a tweet? Made you stop to consider that perhaps they aren’t as bad as they seem, or conversely as good as they seem, right? Don’t fall for it. It’s absolute nonsense. What better method to use to judge someone than their thoughts? Whether we want to accept it or not, that’s what Twitter amounts to; our thoughts. Perhaps most of us are uncomfortable owning that side of ourselves, but make no mistake, some of who we are is transmitted via the tweets we send. Hell yes I can judge you based on your thoughts ie. your tweets. A wise man once said, “As a man (or woman) thinketh, so is he (or she) :|” (My bestfriend is a feminist, I have to watch my speech…lol)

…but I digress.

So right, that’s what I said. As you have tweeted (thought) so you are. I tweet, therefore I am. So if you want to hide your intentions behind that smoke screen excuse, cut it out. It’s just not working. Your tweets are who you are! They represent the inner workings of your mind, they invite people into your mind and gives us insight into how you think and what makes you tick. That’s quite enough for me to use to judge you. That’s right, I’M JUDGING YOU. 😐

Then there are those who want to tell you Twitter isn’t real life and people shouldn’t take it seriously. Say what!? Of course it’s real life. It has to be. Think about it, how much less annoying, obnoxious, loud, horny etc. are we in “real life”? Further, what do we consider “real life”? The advent of social media has certainly revolutionised that definition, whatever you perceive it to be. If Twitter isn’t “real life”, then what you’re projecting to people is a lie. You are deliberately faking who you are, or what people understand of you. Is this the lie or alter ego I spoke of in my earlier post Twitter : Sex, Lies & Alter Ego? You think about it. I hope we’re not going to ignore the fact that many of these people, who argue that Twitter isn’t real life and therefore concede that they are faking, are the same ones who have a problem with the “fakes”, they are the ones who claim to be “Ray Charles to the bullshit.” Guess what though? You’re being fake as hell and you have 20/20 vision, your sighted to the bullshit, you’re the cause. If Twitter isn’t real life then you’re presenting a lie, a cruel, calculated and FAKE lie. Stop it! Gawd gwine shet it dung!!! (Again, I couldn’t resist :|)

Let me hasten to point out that for many of us, Twitter is as real as life gets. We have no life outside of that site, and so we hide behind our Blackberries, iPhones and laptops and “cuss” out people. We hide and lie about who and what we are. We hide and ‘follow’ ‘friends’. We hide and solicit sexual favours, I need not remind you what “check yuh DM” means. My point is, from behind that screen, we create a life; a whole world out of nothing but a blank screen.

Finally, Twitter is fast becoming a permanent fixture of so many of our lives. It’s where we stay informed, it’s where we idle, socialise, date, have sex…it’s everything (to some of us). Our own little virtual community. Have you been to see your neighbours yet? I have 700+ of them, I intend to walk down the street soon and greet the ones I see. You can too, all you have to do is write a tweet and press “Send”….


7 responses

  1. Generation Change


    November 19, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    • Thanks a lot!

      Shit just got real. 🙂

      November 19, 2011 at 12:56 pm

  2. Shet it dung, Gad! DO!! Shet it duuung! lol (I couldn’t resist either)

    November 19, 2011 at 8:37 pm

  3. Hmmm you have a point. I should reveal my true identity….

    But screw that shit, imma continue playing the hypocrite. I mean, everyone else is right?
    I keep it real. See what i just did there <–

    November 19, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    • lateisha1100

      Quite interesting… Wonder which category I fall in…hmmmm *thinking*

      November 21, 2011 at 10:55 am

  4. @anonymouzgirl

    you hit the nail on the head with me, ‘coz this is how i thought of the twittersphere, as well.. 😉

    January 31, 2012 at 3:50 pm

  5. Floydie

    There should be a “love” button at the bottom of this cause i love this one.

    Every single point made is #Fact oh hell yes… #FACT!!!! And you know whats probably the sad part, is that most of whom are guilty, haven’t seen this, refused to read it or started, got annoyed and closed the tab but ayye “Shit Just Got Real”

    February 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm

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