Best News & Current Affairs Blog (2011 & 2012) and Jamaican Blogger of the Year (2011) at The Jamaica Blog Awards.

The Hating Game : “Hi Haters!”


There are a few things that are considered necessary in order to live a comfortable life in the 21st century. We all need a cell phone, cable TV, a computer and…

Haters.

Yes, Haters.

Now before you get upset and close the tab, because you think I’ve wasted your time; consider how many times you’ve read or heard “Hi Haters!” or “Good Morning Bad mind, how are you doing today?” Yes, it would appear that “haters” have become essential to a comfortable life. They are now indispensable accessories, without which your life lacks meaning and worth.

If no one is hating on you, you’ve been doing something very wrong. So, what causes “haters? From whence do they come? And how do we gain them?

I have two theories.

Serious Theory:

(1) Be Nuff.

There is nothing a hater dislikes more than a nuff person. They’ll flock you like moths to a flame. What does it mean to be nuff? Glad you asked!

–» WORD : Nuff.

–» PART OF SPEECH : Adjective

–» MEANING : To excel in an area of academia, or social life, or earn several awards and accolades.

–» USE : I cyaan tek dah gyal deh, she nuff nuh rass.

It usually helps if you think you’re smart and you hold a position of leadership. Also, be opinionated. Have an opinion on everything; that really gets them heated. I mean, how dare you offer an opinion when they have nothing of worth to say?! I’ve been branded nuff so many times, I should know. Conversely, I could very well be the hater and so I know that a hater hates nuff people. Mhm. I’ll have to do some introspection.

Theory for Laughs :

(2) Think That You Have Haters.

Yeah. This helps. Since more than half of you who think that you have haters, don’t. Chances are, no one cares you exist so you’re going to have to create haters and convince yourself that you’re worth hating. So yeah, tell your haters good morning and good night. Offer cures for haterism. All that nice stuff, do it. You’ll create awesome haters.

Seriously though, jokes aside:

While I think some people really dislike people for no reason and can be considered “haters”, I don’t believe half of us who profess we have haters actually do. I think we often create haters to feel like we actually matter. I mean, has anyone every told you they “hated” you? Or badminded you? I doubt it. We usually just assume people badmind us, and this assumption is usually informed by our belief that we’re somehow important or have something worth being badminded over. (Side Note : Is badminded even a word?) I doubt you’re that important though.

I’m probably going to be branded as a hater for saying that. Oh well.

That brings me to my next point.

Lately, the fear of being a labelled a hater has caused fear in offering an opinion, especially if the opinion is a critique of something. This goes back to my first suggestion “being opinionated”. It’s almost as if we must agree with everything or else we’re haters. So if I don’t appreciate Beyonce’s new music video, I’m a hater. If I’m not a fan of Usain Bolt, I’m a hater. NO! It simply means I don’t like it. Full stop. End of story.

You wouldn’t believe the flack I’ve taken for writing [Clarks, Benz and Cake Soap : The Kartel Syndrome] and [The Shebardarization of Kartel], people actually think I’m “hating” on Kartel. With due respect to Kartel, I’d only hate on someone worth hating on. That is, someone I’d probably want to be like. Someone who has reached where I want to go. I don’t want to be a dancehall artiste, I don’t want to bleach my skin and as tempting as getting a weave is, I’ll pass on that too. So no, I’m not hating on Kartel. I just had criticisms, that’s all.

Now, before you comment on this post and bash me, consider if you want to be a hater. You’ll be a hater if you dare disagree with me. Dissent is not a trait of non-haters. Only haters voice dissent and disagreement. And I know some of you will still disagree and post your disagreement and to you I have one thing to say :

“Hi Haters!’

P.S. I know I probably made little to no sense in this post but I was bored and my thoughts were jumbled and not well constructed… and BLAH.

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9 responses

  1. Christina

    I nuh believe inna this hater thing. It’s just crazy, me feel as if people say dem have haters just fi feel like dem important and fi get attention. I personally HATE u doe Mr. Editor. Cuz ur just soooo intelligent. Good job!

    June 2, 2011 at 1:30 pm

  2. Floydie

    This is epically true. I also like the order in which you put together each point. Who ever reads this and gets confused, needs help.
    And I agree with Christian, I hate you as well because you well intelligent

    June 2, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    • LOL! Well Floyd, I only have one thing to say to you and Christina … “Hi Haters!” … LOL! 🙂

      June 2, 2011 at 1:51 pm

  3. Christina

    Lol…. how cums u don’t add me on fb? smh…

    June 2, 2011 at 2:27 pm

  4. TinyDivaNas

    Well, Mr. Editor, u KNOW I love you. I love a man with a well-shaped mind who uses it. *jizz* But I digress… I must say that I have yet to meet or hear about any of my haters. I am doing something wrong and I am most perturbed. I see tweets to haters and I feel so alone. I tweet to mine asking them to make me know they exist and the crickets can’t chirp loud enough in response. *bawls*. Seriously though, I’ve had other people tell me I’m hated on by others but I don’t let that sink in because that stuff gets to one’s ego and it builds a false sense of importance. So what if people think you’re important enough to hate? People hate cheese patty and insects. This should put things in perspective and show you that it doesn’t take much to cause this “hate” from others. Also, buying into negativity as hype can be just as disastrous as buying into the praise. I try to have praise and blame mean the same to me when it comes from strangers or insignificant beings and the value is usually small, if present at all. Giving their words and thoughts value will give it power over me. No, thanks. When someone’s praise means the world to you, it will shake you the moment it gets taken away so have people earn that.
    I’ve always thought it rather dunce to greet haters and badmind but apparently the people with haters could not have made it that far in life without them so maybe I’m the dunce. Meh.Such is life.
    P.S., if you see my group of haters wandering about, please tell them where to find me- give em the link to Google Maps or a compass or sumn- clearly, they’re lost.

    June 2, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    • I guarantee you have haters Nas, if only for this long ass comment. There’s nothing a hater hates more than an opinionated person! I told you! Lol! & even if you see a comment that says “DWL at Nas’ comment” – they’re secretly thinking “Ugh! Why’d she have to say so much?”, especially if they don’t have much to say. Hahaha! Thanxx as usual Nas. 🙂

      June 2, 2011 at 6:08 pm

  5. TinyDivaNas

    A me sey epistle, enuh! oh! twitta jus love stifle mi! Chah! As for haters, unless they can provide me with food, shoes or a means to get those, they can stay hidden.

    June 2, 2011 at 11:46 pm

  6. Another wonderful blog post….is like u always express the same things i think abt.First off not everyone is going to like you but that doesnt make them a hater..and if dem nuh like u…why do u care? Some people is just searching for a reason to be relevant…i always said that i dont know who my haters are because is either people who dont like me being hypocrites or maybe because i genuinely dont care to find out who they are

    June 4, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    • You know the say great minds think alike ! 🙂 hahaha! Thanks for your thoughts Kadz. 🙂

      June 4, 2011 at 1:35 pm

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