Best News & Current Affairs Blog (2011 & 2012) and Jamaican Blogger of the Year (2011) at The Jamaica Blog Awards.

Saying ‘No Homo’ is VERY Homo!‏

I’m not sure when it became popular, but lately almost every supposedly heterosexual male I know has taken to saying “no homo.” Usually, it is said subsequent to some extensively gay comment. I was thinking about it and I wondered, if one is truly comfortable and secure in his sexuality; why would you need to say “no homo”?

I find it incredibly annoying when a male is talking to me and he says “no homo”. In fact, I wonder if he’s just using that to cover up a latent intention. Why are we so preoccupied with sexuality? And why are we so insecure about it that we can’t have a conversation without asserting our heterosexuality? I’m sorry, but I don’t think a truly straight man would have need to constantly assert his sexual orientation. He ought to know himself and know what he is and isn’t capable of and what he would and wouldn’t do.

While we’re at it, let’s address the ‘2’ & ‘Mandeville’. What the hell is up with these idiots? 1, few, 3? No. Absolutely not. What really is the issue? When did the number 2 become taboo? And why are we using our stupid cultural perception to persecute that poor, innocent, law abiding number? What did two (2) ever do to you? (Kool! I think I just rhymed! LOL!) Seriously though, can someone tell me why and how it makes sense? And when you say 1, few, 3, don’t you feel like a total dunce? No? You don’t? Well, you ought to! You appear really small in my eyes when you bring that nonsense to me.

Going through the major towns and cities in Jamaica, I didn’t come across a single town called “Gyaldeville”! Not one! The place is called MANdeville! Grow the hell up man! There has to come a time when intelligent people stand up and refuse to be swept away in the tidal wave of ignorance. I’m taking a stand! The other day Brandon tweeted that a preoccupation with asserting sexual orientation is so 2005! I agree Brandon, these closet case homos, who hide behind “no homo” need to stop the bullshit. Stop hiding behind “few” & persecuting two! Stop inventing “Gyaldeville”, accept that your eating, sleeping and perhaps even showering in “Mandeville”! Get your head out of your ass! (No homo!) LOL! See what I just did? I know, I rock. Autographs later.

Seriously guys, let’s elevate our thinking. Let’s show the ladies that we’re not mindless drones. I’m willing to bet the girls are more attracted to a man who shows her he’s straight by performing in the bedroom than having every sentence punctuated by “no homo”.. Ladies? Can I have some support on this? (waits for support)… I’ve thought about it, and my position is, No Homo is VERY Homo. What says you?


14 responses

  1. Christina

    dwl good article. I was always wondering why the number 2 is taboo too and I never seem 2 get it. Idk wen it all boils down, Jamaican pple just dawk and stupid.

    March 25, 2011 at 10:32 pm

  2. Tyrone

    Dead! I AGREE! Intelligence is like a repellent in Ja…

    March 25, 2011 at 10:48 pm

  3. No Homo is by far the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! I mean if ur going to think something and say it then atleast own up to your thought. If you didn’t want to anyone to knw your secret gay thought- why say them. If u use the term no homo, to me that’s waving a big ole rainbow flag!

    No homo is very very homo- Gay Pride Homo!

    March 25, 2011 at 10:52 pm

  4. I say no Homo once in a while but thats just for Jokes. Like when i’m talking with my Bros but i won’t be having a regular conversation and say something the typical jamaican would think is Homosexual and drop it in…..nah!

    As for gyaldeville, gyalchester, gyaltigobay etc…. Wouldn’t catch me dead saying them. Shits stupid.

    Few?…DWL!!! From day one i decided not to give a number to Homosexuals…. Why? Why would you give them their own number?

    I swear Jamaican people are just ridiculous. Thats why i use the word JAMAICAN to describe the mind set of certain people. Dark/Arrogant and unexposed. They need to kill this Jamaican mentality. As my friend always say, People need to sop being local minded and as i always say “Stop living in Jamaica and start living in the world”

    March 25, 2011 at 11:55 pm

    • LOL.. Which one of ur comments should I delete Monk? Hahaha! U’ve never heard the “few” comment? Real sup’m!

      March 26, 2011 at 12:10 am

  5. Yeah i’ve heard it!…. Delete all the others except the last one! >.<…

    March 26, 2011 at 1:14 am

  6. G

    Yea, i never understood this or where it came from…

    So what about girls that say “no homo”??
    They arent all innocent either

    March 28, 2011 at 11:10 pm

    • Definitely! Anyone who says “no homo” annoys me! Male or Female >.<

      March 28, 2011 at 11:18 pm

      • Christina

        Thats true… I find it really annoying and ridiculous. Ive notcied dat Jamaicans kinda pick this American slang ting and it nuh mek it dem. Just mek dem seem even more stupid.

        March 29, 2011 at 11:48 pm

  7. R.

    I agree with the above comment. In a failed attempt to be more Americanized, they follow the likes of Lil’ Wayne and such, and use the words they use.
    As to whether it is a method by which Jamaicans are used to seem “cool”, or whether they use the word with full intention of its meaning, I am not sure … Simply because none of my friends use it yet (lol) .
    That’s another opic for another time anyway … Why the Jamaican mentality chooses to move to that of the American mentality.
    Other than that, Great post ! Two Thunbs Up .

    April 5, 2011 at 10:59 am

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