Woes of the Blessed : The Dark Side of A Big Dick

Editor’s Note: The views expressed below are not my own. By popular demand, this guest post comes to us from Roy Livingston (@VaginaCrunchBar). I would like to apologise for the sheer length of it, and I hope you won’t mind the width either; we simply could not cover the subject in smaller prose. Such is the size of the task. Anyhow, read, reflect, comment. Enjoy.

Now, before you get on my manmeat, I mean, the meat of my matter, let me address the first thoughts that come to mind just from reading the title alone. 

• Yes, I will be addressing the obvious concern. Sure, the influx of getting laid is as expected, but not completely. 
• Yes, having a tool of mass destruction (as some refer to it) does wonders for your ego. 
• And yes, there are perks of using your third leg to scratch an itch you can’t reach. 

But that not why I’m here. This isn’t a horn tooting convention. This is not just my tale. This is the story of every guy out there that has ever had it rough, been ostracized (yes, being jeered does happen) or even persecuted for wielding gifts we did not ask for. I’m not here to tell anyone how to live their life, just a few words from a foolish young man.

Before I can even go any further, let me ask. What do you think you know about a big dicked guy? Ladies, if you’re dating a guy you really like and further in, you realize that he’s harboring a runaway midget in his loins, how do you react to this? Does this impact your future relations with said person? When asked, 3 out of 5 women claimed they would be fear-stricken but willing to press on depending on how they feel about the guy. The remainder would end the relationship because of fear of infertility and vaginal scarring. Yet when asked “What would you do if you woke up with a big dick tomorrow?”, it appears that after the initial shock value of the gender switcheroo wore off, most would be elated. They proclaimed the sexual ventures they’d proceed on, assuming their newly found gift would be amazing and as big as their egos would allow.

If a guy was asked what he would do with a bigger dick, most would think it means more sex/girls. Others don’t think much of it. Why? Because we know.

Playing Politics With Jamaica’s Future

Editor’s Note : The views expressed below are not my own. Javed Jaghai returns to Veritas with his take on Jamaica’s current political realities. Read. Reflect. Comment.

Jamaican politicians may be terrible leaders, but they are masters of political strategy. They understand our culture very well. They know how to appease us, they know how to mistreat us (and get away with it), and they know that we are familiar enough with each other to privilege loyalty and character over intellect and effectiveness.

Our past and present politicians must be held responsible for the state of Jamaica today. By the time the stalwarts who have served since my birth die, their obituaries will tell of how long they served and how dedicated they were to public service but will say nothing of how poorly they governed.

Jamaica is a very small island with a correspondingly small population. The interconnected webs of social and familial ties breeds familiarity, which, I believe, violates and degrades traditional means of guaranteeing accountability. We trust our elected representatives and we continue ‘fi gi dem a bly’ even though their record of accomplishment speaks volumes to their incompetency. When they consistently perform less than satisfactorily and especially when they fuck up, we excuse their ineptitude with superficial considerations like their so-called ‘good moral character’ and ‘commitment to the community’.

“Rowdy Gays Wreak Havok”

Editor’s Note: The views expressed below are not my own. Javed Jaghai makes his debut on Veritas discussing the burden of homophobia on gays and lesbians in spite of their contributions to national development. Read. Reflect. Comment. 

As described in a recent front page Gleaner report (“GAYS WREAK HAVOK”), a small group of maladjusted gay men in New Kingston are now infamous for their lawlessness. “Well-thinking Jamaicans” commenting on the issue are alarmed for “If Jamaica becomes more tolerant of homosexuality, THEY will wreak havok on OUR nation because this is how THEY behave.” This “us” versus “them” dichotomy implies that all gay men are miscreants. Furthermore, it discursively locates ALL gay Jamaicans at the periphery of the boundary of citizenship.

Don’t Blame My Vagina : How “Slut Shaming” Legtimizes Rape

Editor’s Note : The views expressed below are not my own. Karen Lloyd (@Mz_Karizma) makes her debut on Veritas dealing with the issue of rape and the unfortunate perception that sometimes it is the woman’s fault. Read. Comment. Enjoy.

What did my vagina ever do to you? Yes I know my short skirt titillates your senses but that’s no invitation for sex. There is no invitation until and unless I explicitly engage you for those purposes. I am not inviting you for sex when I am skimpily dressed nor when I accept an invitation to your house after a date.

Slut shaming is the act of calling a woman a slut because of how she acts, what she wears and her choice and number of sexual partners. This is socially dangerous as it leads to the legitimization and acceptance of sexual offenses against women. It is much easier to see rape as acceptable when we deem the victim as ‘loose’.

Slut. Whore. Harlot. She called it on herself.

Without The Dancehall Hero

Editor’s Note : The views expressed below are not my own.  This is the fourth installment in the guest posts series. Written by Brandon Allwood (@BrandonAllwood), it discusses the impact, or lack thereof, of Kartel’s absence from the local music scene. Enjoy.

There is hardly a Jamaican who can say they don’t know Vybz Kartel. The one-time protégé of dancehall superstar Bounty Killa, Vybz Kartel dominated the dancehall scene for years with lyrically lethal songs and commentary that barked at the heels of societal attitudes.

Kartel has won immutable praises from music fans who simply cannot resist the urge to litter the skyline with ‘gun fingers’ and lighters or stake their claim on the dance floor whenever his infectious rhymes emanate from speaker boxes. As Kartel navigated the murky waters of dancehall, it soon became clear that the self-proclaimed dancehall hero was in a class of his own.

His hold on the dancehall scene was firm and a seemingly never-ending stream of singles kept flooding the airwaves… not that music lovers complained. Yes, there are those who refused to enjoy songs from his catalogue when they sided with any one of a number of artistes Kartel engaged in musical brawls with—but his screaming fans outnumbered the ‘anti-Kartel’ community by far.

The Friendzone

Editor’s Note : The views expressed below are not my own. We continue the guest posts series with @Nasylum’s take on the dreaded Friendzone. Enjoy.

Seeing people lament about the friendzone as if it is some punishment meted out unfairly or straight up curse the evil beings who dare classify them as “just a friend” is a source of great annoyance for me. Apparently, once someone is nice (in their opinion, let’s get that straight) to you and willing to do sweet or considerate things for you even when you do not ask, you become obligated to partner up with them or at the very least, “dash out” (that is, have the sex. Yes, I said “the sex”. It’s how I talk. Deal”. I do not want to tell you that you are a self-entitled individual who really is not ready for a relationship with a human being besides yourself so I won’t. But you are. Oops, I told you. The first step is acceptance. You’re welcome. Now let’s move on to helping you on the road to recovery.

How To Please A Man

Editor’s Note : The views expressed below are not my own. This post is the second in the series of guest posts I promised. A few days ago you got the female perspective on what women need. This offers the male perspective on what men need. The post was written by Jermaine Thomas (@jt_ninja). Enjoy.

Now before I tell you all to take his penis firmly in your hand, and stroke it in a circular fashion, turning clockwise three times then three four counter-clockwise, back then back then light punch (get over heeerree!) it’s imperative you know… I won’t be telling you that. I know you might expect sex tips overall, but in truth, a lot of men’s behaviour is a direct response to the way a lot of women are. So, oddly enough a lot of this “How To Please A Man” will be “How To Make Yourself Ready To Please A Man”. So, for the duration of this post, stop “overmedzing” and just take everything I say at face value. Like a man.

How To Please A Woman

Editor’s Note : The views expressed below are not my own. This post was written by Kristina Neil (@LickMyKris). She explores the delicate issue of  sexually pleasing a woman. This post kicks off a series of guest posts. Stay tuned as I seek out different perspectives to bring to the blog. Enjoy.

“Her quivering lips awaited his with anticipation so palpable and thick a knife could slice through. He pressed his thick dick into her heated quim, simultaneously stopping her cries with his mouth. He mounted her lithe body and she was lost for him.”
Sex, as I have come to understand through my expansive research since the age of 12 on this quaint little tool known as the internet (Seriously, it’s adorable), is quite possibly the most convoluted, dynamic and exciting physical activity it has ever been man’s brilliance to discover. The complexity with which it is associated, has transcended and progressed throughout the ages. From the conventional missionary to croaking “lizard lap” or….”roast duck” (I’m not sure what that is but my first thought was cunnilingus with Bar-B-Que sauce).

I Am The Perfect Asshole

Disclaimer:

The views expressed in this post are not my own. I do not necessarily endorse statements made or conclusions drawn. However, I believe everyone has the right to have their perspective heard. To this end, I have decided to feature other writers on my blog. This is my first such feature, in what I hope to be a series of features. Enjoy another voice and perspective.

I can never understand women, I swear. Everyday they preach “mi want a good man, mi want a good man” well Amen bitch, but the good man you claim that you want is the same nigga u neglected. Why? Because him too sawf (submissive), you rule him, he’s too perfect, he’s not the relationship type, he does everything you want in a man. Like WTF bitch??? You just said you wanted a perfect man so why you complaining? *tivali ooman voice* the point isssss women are confused and most who think they know what they want, don’t.

They think they know until they are in a relationship with Mr. Asskisser for 2 months when suddenly she runs outta ass space (especially ya’ll skinny bitches with no ass). That’s when she plays heartbreaker and decides she no longer wants to break his dick off in the bedroom, she wants to break his heart (8) you got him suicidal, suicidal when you say its overrr (8) (In that case see @gilly_royal for some rope motherfucker).